On James Bond
Agent 007 Performance Review
(A Human Resources Initiative)
To: Agent 007–Commander Bond
From: MI6 Human Resources Department re: Performance Review and Analysis
Dear Commander Bond,
The recent restructuring of MI6 has resulted in a performance review of all active operatives. The Secret Service is keen to maintain and, where appropriate, increase standards of performance across all qualitative and quantitative indicator ranges. As one of our most senior operatives, your work provides less experienced agents with standards to aspire to; therefore, your performance ratings are of the utmost importance for the 00 section. Your ratings have been compiled according to mission debriefing reports, interviews with key stakeholders, log books, records, and anecdotal evidence obtained during all mission phases. These ratings are tabulated below, where your personal ratings are depicted against averages for all 00 agents within this performance review period.
As noted in the table [BOOK ONLY], while you score above the average on many performance indicators, most notably “Death Machines Disabled” and “Evil Masterminds Foiled,” you score distressingly below the average on “Femmes Fatales Evaded” and, to a lesser extent, “Appropriate Use of Government Resources.” The issue of your “creative” approach to government-owned resources has been referred to the budgetary oversight committee; currently, further evidence is being sought, and you will be advised of any action to be taken against you within three months of the date of this letter. In the meantime, it has been decided that the Human Resources department should address the other performance indicator scoring significantly below average–namely, your inability to …