The United States is a country that talks a lot about “family values.” That particular phrase is often used as the rationale for major social, political and even business decisions. But what does “family values” mean to individual people? In general, people tend to look at families through two lenses: (a) how their own family operates; and (b) how they think other families operate. We tend to think of our family as “normal,” but at the same time we judge the quality of our family life based on what we think other families are like. We form our views of other families based on what other people tell us . . . and what we see on television.

This can be unfortunate, because we tend to look at other families through rose-colored glasses. We have to rely on what other people tell us—and their accuracy is often in question. After all, who wants to admit that their family is flawed? Family processes are shrouded in secrecy. Gone are the days when we all lived together and could actually see how families talked and played together, what kinds of discipline methods were used, and what roles everyone played. Now we have to guess how it is that other families behave or rely on possibly erroneous self-reports.

Given this secrecy and the reluctance people have to let others into their private lives, where are we to look for examples of family life? Why, TV, of course! By making hits of TV shows like The  …