When I was a kid, I had every intention of growing up to be a superhero. This wasn’t an idle wish; this was The Plan. Now, I had long since given up any illusions that I was a foundling, rescued by my parents from a crash-landed space capsule. And my home chemistry kit had yet to provide me with any Flash-like super-speed. So, while I could still hope that a dying alien would bequeath me a magic ring, if I wanted to carry through with The Plan, I had to move in a different direction. No problem. I could be Batman.

That was what was so great about Batman. You didn’t need to be born on a distant planet and you didn’t need a magic ring. All you needed was determination and a massive cave under your house, and you too could be a superhero. What I didn’t factor into The Plan, however, was the cost. After all, Bruce Wayne was a millionaire, and I had a two-dollar weekly allowance.¹

Eventually, having discovered girls, I shelved The Plan. But decades have passed and I’ve earned myself a meager income, so perhaps it’s time to dust off the calculator and revisit The Plan. The question is, what sort of bread would you need to spend to become the Caped Crusader? Could you transform yourself into the Dark Knight? Could you become Batman? Well, that depends on what you’re willing to spend.²

The Costume

The first step to becoming Batman is obviously the costume,  …