Having a baby changes everything. At least it does according to Johnson & Johnson, whose advertisements—fuzzy, thirty-second valentines to parenthood—punctuated the commercial breaks throughout Gilmore Girls’s seven seasons. According to the company’s Web site, the concept behind these public service announcements (and really, what else would you call them? No specific product was ever mentioned) is simple: “You were once the center of your universe and now your baby is. Johnson & Johnson understands.” An interesting campaign choice for a television show marketed to teenagers.

Which is not to say that Girls is just, well, for girls. As I enter the third decade of my life I have to admit, Tony the Tiger witness-protection-program style, that I rarely miss an episode of the show. But while I may not be an anomaly, flashy Web sites, contrived marketing tie-ins, and (lately) that infuriating teenage gab fest during commercial breaks confirm that I and my rapidly maturing ovaries are no longer members of the CW’s target audience. Which calls the intentions of the network’s pro-parenting propaganda into question, especially when you consider that Gilmore Girls was originally developed through the advertiser-funded Family Friendly Programming Forum’s (FFPF) Script Development Initiative, a group that encourages the television community to produce more primetime shows that families can enjoy watching together. Synergistic shocker: Johnson & Johnson, the company synonymous with responsible parenting, is a member of the coalition.

All of which makes for a tricky, if largely innocuous, mixed message towards sex and childrearing. The “Changes Everything” ad  …