“The two most dangerous words in the English language are ‘Marge Simpson.’”

—MARGE, “Bart after Dark”

This opening line brings me back to the old saying “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.” Why is it that a woman’s anger is so dreaded? Why is it that girls are told “anger isn’t pretty?” Maybe it’s because anger works! Marge and Lisa can show you how, but it takes some doing. Compared to many of us, they have really arrived.

First of all, you and I were probably socialized pretty much the same way: People of the feminine persuasion were supposed to be nice and quiet and pretty; those of the masculine ilk could be rougher around the edges and were allowed to stomp around, raise their voices and maybe even throw things or take a slap at someone if they were upset. Anger was a sign of power in a man, but an indicator of being out of control, bitchy and—the ultimate insult—“unladylike” in a woman. And we were threatened with the ultimate consequence: Boys wouldn’t like us and we’d never find a husband. (I can just hear Malibu Stacy saying “Let’s buy make-up so boys will like us!”) Men who were not assertive and competitive were shamed from boyhood by being called “wimp,” “wuss,” or “gay” (or anything else alluding to homosexuality); they were verbally and physically pushed around or beaten up.

Of course there were also influences from our immediate families, our religions, our cultures.  …