You know how the best episodes of Glee follow the same trajectory? The show establishes a theme and the characters who best express that theme, and then mashes them together with something awful. The characters have a dark night of the soul but come out of it singing, and with the right song, everything winds up perfect, or at least uplifted, in the end.

Well, that trajectory also describes my personal relationship with Glee.
 
Listen to my story, and you’ll probably see why, in those “Which Glee character are you?” internet quizzes, I always come out as Rachel.

I saw the previews for Glee during the last few episodes of the Adam Lambert season on American Idol (he was robbed, by the way). I set up my DVR to record because, clearly, Glee was my kind of show. My DVR, traitor that it is (and it figures as strongly in this story as Sue Sylvester does on Glee), recorded only half of the premiere episode, so I decided to wait until the re-airing in the fall.

I had all summer to anticipate. In fact, I even discussed Glee (several times) with the local high school’s musical director, who was looking forward to the show as much as I was.

The date finally came. I watched the first episode, then the next three, and then I—

Quit. That’s right, you heard me, Gleeks. I quit watching Glee.

I couldn’t take it. Or, to be blunt, I  …