The lives of half-bloods in Greek mythology usually end in blood and guts and fire—we’re talking vengeful gods, three-headed dogs, monsters, ancient curses. It’s all very dangerous and life threaten-y. If you were the child of a really powerful god like Percy is, you’d have to stay at Camp Half-Blood all year long, for fear of attracting monsters in the real world. You could never really go back home. Your life would be forever changed. If not over. If you’re lucky.

And yet . . . the thought of having that powerful blood surging through you, of having access to a whole other kind of magical world, one that defies reason and gravity, even—it might just be worth it. I know I for one would just love a taste of ambrosia and nectar. I’d jump at the chance to learn Ancient Greek, practice archery, take swordfighting lessons, play Capture the Flag with real armor. But before I could sign up for all of that at Camp Half-Blood, I’d have to actually be a half-blood. I’d have to have a parent who was a god.

The thing is, you can’t pick your parents. Not in this life and not in Percy’s. But if you could choose, who would you pick? Clearly, there are pros and cons to having each god for a parent. Nobody’s perfect, especially not in Greek mythology. So you must choose carefully. You have to really do your homework in order to make an informed decision. So let’s get to  …