Hey Adam,

First off, your column rocks, man. You really know how guys think. Here’s a problem for you. The wife and I are having our first kid soon. She wants her mother to stay with us after Junior is born. I say no way. The lady is from Hell. What do I do?

Signed,

The Monster-in-Law Is Coming

Dear Monster-in-Law Hater,

This is a clear case of damned if you do and damned if you don’t. If you let her come, she’s going to drive you to drink, but if you keep her out, you’ll be dealing with the wailing of the baby and your wife all on your own.

Demons come in all shapes and sizes, so you have to ask yourself, what’s the worst that could happen? It’s not like she’s going to force your baby to drink her blood, or burst into flames and blow up your house, right? Look at it this way, maybe she’ll help out. Take Junior for a stroll so you and the wife can get some rest.

Of course, if you think she truly is demonic, salt all the windowsills and doorways. That way she’ll never be able to cross your threshold again.

Take it easy,

Adam